Pics

EDIT: And...back to brown.

This, too, will be temporary, though, because I've decided that I'm going to let my natural color grow out again. I did it about 4 or 5 years ago, let it grow out to about the top of my ears, and I actually LIKE the color and like it on me, but because I've had trouble accepting looking my age, let alone older, I wasn't ready to embrace it. I was going to do it last year, and forget why I didn't end up doing it then...I probably forgot!

This time, I pretty much have to because for the second time in 6 years, I've lost a significant amount of hair, and unlike when it happened before, this time, it hasn't shown signs of stopping yet. I now only have about 1/2 to 2/3 my normal amount of hair on my head. THANK GOD I have a LOT of hair normally, meaning, MANY hairs, even though they're fine, because they're so densely packed together that even with this many gone, my scalp now only looks like most peoples'. It started happening about a year ago then slowed down, but started falling out with a vengence about 6 months ago and it's not only everywhere, but it clogged our brand new tub TWICE since we moved here! It's not even long hair! I know it isn't because of the coloring; I've done far worse to it in the past, and didn't lose it like this, and besides, hair BREAKS OFF from color, it doesn't fall out at the roots, which is what mine's been doing. Of course, I didn't make it any better by having it bleached a month or so ago, either, because some of it broke off, too, but that's stopped. Now it's just back to falling out. It's coming out all over my head, and it is growing back, at different rates, so I have all different lengths of hair on my head, representing each months' "exodus." There aren't any "bald patches" because this is what's called "telogen effluvium" type hair loss. WHY it's happening still remains to be seen. The most likely reason is probably the same reason I gained this 10 or so lbs. all of a sudden that won't budge no matter what I do and in spite of the fact that I ride a bike all over the city, (and it's NOT muscle,) which I am pretty sure is my thyroid since my TSH had tripled since I had it done in Jan to the last time, 2 months ago. Hopefully, it's not the only other thing I know can do this which is Lupus, that would suck.
I see the endocrinologist in 2 weeks....





I finally went and changed my hair color! As I'd expected, it was a long, involved procedure to lighten my hair, and because I'd had so much dark color in it, it could only be taken to this titian shade for now. I hadn't planned on it being reddish at all, but I've had it before, and it's only temporary, until I can get it lifted a bit more, a little at a time, until it's as light as it will go. That will make me a "blonde," which I'm not completely comfortable with, no offense to you blondes out there, but the last time I had that color, I was regarded quite differently than I am with dark hair. Still, it'll be much easier to deal with the root regrowth than it was with my dark hair since more than half of that is white now.

Here are the before and after pics...sort of...
The "before" pic was take a week ago with my adorable nephew, Brady. I just had to post it because it's so cute!
The after was taken today, when I got home.

Before:


After:


*After, Part 2:
I really wasn't happy with the orange color that I ended up with last week, and just don't have the patience to wait to get it to platinum. Also, after giving it more thought, I realize that I'll just never feel comfortable in anything but extreme hair colors, either dark or light, so I went dark again, and since it was already red, I just made it dark auburn. the upkeep for this will likely be harder than brown was, though, so I doubt I'll keep it this way long. I just know I won't go quite as dark as I used to be.

Climate Change

I finally had to say something about this. All the dumbasses who think that climate change, or as THEY still call it, "global warming," isn't a reality should step outside here in Philly in the middle of April and feel the heatwave! We had a record 93 degrees the other day. I'm sure THEY say it's just a fluke or something, but for those of us who've been around long enough and ACTUALLY PAID ATTENTION to the weather long before "global warming" was a "fad," we know that for decades, the weather in GENERAL has been much more widely VARIABLE than it's been during recorded history. When I was a kid, I heard stories and saw photos of frequent, HUGE snowstorms, ones that were commonplace every winter. When I was a kid, I also remember big snowstorms, but not nearly as big or as frequent as the ones before I was born.
I also remember four DISTINCT seasons, and it surprises me that people STILL refer to the month of August like it was still the hottest month of the year when August hasn't been the hottest month of any summer for the past 20 years!
In my lifetime alone, what I've seen is a much more erratic pattern, progressively more erratic in the past 20 years or so. I've seen huge snowstorms in early Spring, I've seen warm, Spring-like weather in February, Summer-like weather in Fall, as with 2008, and now a heat-wave in April.

20-some years ago, I remember a 60 degree day in February. You want to know WHY I remember it? IT WAS A NOTEWORTHY OCCASION because until then, none of my peers had EVER HEARD OF THAT! While I'd heard all of the snow stories from older people, I can't recall ever hearing about 60 degree weather in the middle of winter. We'd ALSO had 0 degree or below zero degree weather in the winters leading up to that. I remember those days, too, especially because I had to walk to classes in it.

Since then, I've noticed a pattern with the weather, and every year, some of it's been predictable, and some not.
The predictable part is that August is no longer "the hottest month." In fact, more often than not, August has become like "Indian-summer," becoming suddenly much cooler than summer had been or is expected to be. I've noticed that most of the time, we have an "extended" fall and rarely see much or any snow before December.
When we do, we generally have a very hot summer, like I expect to see this year, as well as the early Spring we've gotten.
It generally gets warm again, often like August "should" be, in September.
It tends to get very hot, very early and stays that way ever summer, as well.

The thing about "global warming" is that it's NOT just about "warming," hence the fact that it's now mostly referred to as "climate change." We've been having unpredictable, random, unseasonable weather for some time now, and the trend is growing. Anyone who can't see that should take their faces out of their books and away from their iPhones and laptops and start paying attention as it gets worse.
And the bottom line is, you don't have to "believe" it's real, but would it KILL you to act like it is and be "greener?" I'd LOVE for someone to tell me how doing THAT would be a detriment to anything in the not-likely event that it's discovered and proven that the concept of climate change is wrong.

EDIT:
Anyone notice the weather in PA THIS week? Another day or so of rain and we've got ourselves a NEW record...

Family History

It's one thing when there's a trait in your family that you've inherited, and may pass on, such as blue eyes or a big nose, but it's quite another when that "trait" is an overwhelming predisposition for developing cancer.
I don't know nearly as much of my family history as I'd like to, but I can't imagine not knowing anything, like an adopted child that never knew his/her biological parents, because you just never know what might be lurking in your genes.

My maternal grandmother died at age 40 of colon cancer. Knowing that has divided my family in to two different groups. On one hand, there are those of us who think about the possibility of developing it ourselves and want to do whatever we can to prevent that, and on the other, there are those who put their heads in the proverbial sand and act like as long as they don't get checked, they won't have it, (as if the DOCTORS are the ones responsible.)
For years, I begged my mother to get checkups, etc., even general ones, like most people do, but she held the opinion that as long as she felt healthy, she didn't need to see a doctor. I had tried many times to get her to understand that there are things that one might not know about unless one is checked for it, colon cancer being one of them.

In February, she had to have what was basically emergency bowel surgery and was diagnosed with stage III colon cancer. What do you say when the very thing you were afraid would happen to someone, happens? "I told you so" is hardly appropriate.
Colon cancer generally grows slowly, which is why people 50 and over are told to have a colonoscopy every 10 years.

In some cases, though, colon cancer can be the result of specific genes that one inherits, and develops more aggressively, and often, much earlier. There are two types of inherited colon cancer, Familial Adenomatous Polyposis (FAP) and Hereditary Non-Polyposis Colon Cancer, (HNPCC)
In people who inherit FAP, the hallmark is the development of possibly thousands of polyps which become cancerous at an early age. Inheriting HPNCC, on the other hand, gives a person an astounding 80% chance of developing colon cancer by age 70 but also greatly increases the chances of several other cancers, including uterus, ovaries, endometrial cancer, bladder, and by some accounts, small intestine, liver and brain!! The chances of endometrial cancer are as high as 60%.
The cause of HPNCC has to do with the mutation of certain genes and one copy of the mutated gene, (germline mutation) will be present in ALL of the cells in the body. The other copy determines WHERE the cancer might develop, depending on where it occurs. Not everyone with the first mutation develops the second and they aren't sure why it happens, but they know that certain things, cigarettes smoking, other environmental factors, possibly even sun-exposure, which is known to cause DNA damage, can influence it. It's even more complicated than this, but I certainly can't explain it. Suffice to say that there is a very DIRECT link of this kind of mutation to colon and in many cases, other types of cancers.

Luckily, there are tests that can be done to find out if one has this mutation. Certain criteria needs to be met for the doctors to even suspect that HPNCC runs in a family, part of that being more than just one person in the family having colon cancer.
In my family's case, there are now two women, 2 generations, that have [had] it, and another who's had polyps which, if left untreated, eventually develop into cancer regardless of heredity. Because I don't know my family history well, I have no idea if any past ancestors had colon or a related cancer.

To be on the safe side, (or so I thought,) I had my first colonoscopy yesterday. Knowing that 2 generations in my family had developed colon cancer and that one of them was only 40 made me somewhat anxious to find out if I was okay. As it turned out, I am...for now.

My gastroenterologist is the one who first mentioned HNPCC to me. He is referring me to a Cancer Risk Evaluation center, where they will take as complete a family history, as complete as I can give, including even where my ancestors lived before they came to the U.S., as well as many other details to see if I fit the criteria for suspected HPNCC. My doctor told me that they'll want my mother to be tested for this, and then me.
If her oncologist had been on the ball, they could've tested her biopsy sample as well- when a person has HPNCC, the mutation shows up in the cancer itself, too, but as far as I know, and I haven't been told much, that wasn't done.
They need to find out if she actually has it since she's the one that developed the cancer, then they can test me to see if I inherited the mutation.
I was also told that whether or not she has the mutation has something to do with how often and the kinds of cancer screenings I'll need to have done. I'll know more when I go to the center, but it appears that just testing me can give me a false negative. I'm not sure how it works, but in certain circumstances, HPNCC can "appear" to "skip" a generation when in fact, a person may actually have inherited the mutation.

The real kicker in all of this will be whether or not my mother gets it done. It's just a blood test, and she's seeing doctors all the time now, between having the colostomy and now chemo, but I'm talking about someone who preferred a "wait and see" course of non-action regarding her own chance of getting cancer. THAT didn't work out so well, and I plan on being much more vigilant.
You might ask, "why not just assume you have it and get the screenings anyway," but there are some issues with that.

For one, if a person has the mutation, the list below is what he/she needs to do in order to catch a possible cancer in time to be treated/make sure he/she is still cancer free.

Colonoscopy every 1-3 years starting between ages 20-30; if polyps are found, colonoscopy at least yearly (the presence of polyps, especially in a young person with relatives with HNPCC, may be a sign the genetic mutation was inherited)

For women:

Pelvic exam every year starting at age 18 or at onset of sexual activity

Endometrial biopsy and/or ultrasound to screen for endometrial cancer every year starting at age 25-35

Blood test and transvaginal ultrasound to screen for ovarian cancer every year starting at age 25-40 if ovaries are not easy to examine by pelvic exam

Careful investigation of any bleeding between menstrual periods or after menopause

Urine tests to check for blood every year and possibly urine cytology tests to check for cancer cells in urine

Testing per American Cancer Society guidelines for all other cancer screening
Aggressive evaluation of any persistent, unexplained symptoms


That's A LOT of procedures and tests. They cost money, not to mention, some of them aren't a lot of fun, and some are surgical procedures, like colonoscopies and endometrial biopsy, that carry risk.
More than that, insurance companies generally won't pay for this many tests and procedures for NO APPARENT REASON.

In other words, they will want proof that the person has an INHERITED genetic mutation before they'd just approve and pay for all of those procedures.
Even if insurance did pay for these procedures, in my case, there's a copay for each, and for something like a colonoscopy, it's $100, and I'm sure a transvaginal ultrasound, etc., isn't cheap, either. That would add up to several hundred dollars or more a year out of our pockets for possibly no good reason in the event that my family doesn't have the HNPCC mutation.
Not to mention the fact that I'd be putting myself through the anxiety of having to do all of that. My mom understands anxiety, so one would think she'd want to prevent her children from having to go through all that unnecessarily, especially if she doesn't believe she inherited this mutation...


Considering how much just regular doctor visits and a few procedure copays have weighed us down lately, we may not have the extra money for all of that, or at least not all of the time, which would mean I'd have to just "hope" that I won't get it, or assume it won't happen to me....
......and that didn't work out so well for my mother.

Drinks

No explanation here- took these while out with Bob on my birthday, thought they looked cool.

My City

I figured it was about time I did something with some of these. I take my camera with me pretty much everytime I leave home because there's always something to take a photo of when one lives in a city, especially one like Philly!
These are photos I've taken over the past year or two, randomly. I don't pretend to be any sort of photographer, not even an amateur one. I just point and shoot at whatever strikes me at the moment.
These were all taken while I was either on foot or on my bike.
Here's some of what's struck me about my city.

CLICK THE PHOTOS TO ENLARGE

I Woke Up with a Smile on My Face

Yesterday was an incredible day in the history of this nation, and I woke up today still smiling about it.
Barack Obama was sworn in as the 44th President of the United States, and maybe just as importantly, George W. Bush got on a helicopter and went back to Texas, where he belongs.

I watched the inaugural events the entire day, until the Obamas had their very last dance of the evening sometime after midnight. What I saw yesterday is about to make me use a word I rarely, if ever use, because I don't consider myself the "type" of person who gets this way, but I was "moved." Moved to tears, in fact, something most people have never even seen happen, excluding my husband, who knows it happens much more often than I'd like to admit, my last ex-boyfriend of 6 years, and the only real best friend I've ever had, Karen, with whom I've cried more than once in the past.

I found a few things moving. For most, I suppose it would be the obvious- the historical nature of this presidency, the fact that it's the first Black president. That alone, however, was anti-climactic for me because unlike most, I actually expected to see that happen in my lifetime. I am extremely happy that with the Obamas in the White House, I believe that it will go far in helping people to really put aside race as an issue, though.

What really got to me was this man, Barack Obama, and his wife, Michelle. Their personalities have come across to me from the first time I ever saw them speak as genuine, (just like Joe Biden, another great thing about this Presidency,) and as a great judge of character, I feel confident that what I'm perceiving is true. It's so palpable in fact, that everyone seems to feel it, not just myself. President Obama has been referred to by some, (in a snarky, sarcastic way,) as a "messiah" to those of us who believe in him, and to that I say, "What if you're right?"
Wouldn't the joke be on those people if he WAS their "messiah" and they didn't have the sense to recognize him?! :)
Kidding aside, their joking isn't too terribly far from the reality. After all, compare what he's been able to do with the "real," (and by "real," I mean FAIRYTALE, STORYBOOK Bible version,) messiah. No, President Obama hasn't walked on water- yet- but he does have an incredible way of inspiring millions of people. Did your messiah do that while he was alive? No, he inspired 12 disciples or something and later the FABLE was what inspired the billions since, the FAIRYTALE, NOT THE MAN himself.

President Obama may well be able to do great things through the people he's able to inspire, which, as far as I'm concerned, makes him far better than any make-believe messiah that people pray to.



The other thing that struck me so much about the Obamas was the affection with which they regard each other, particularly while in the public eye in front of millions of people. We've never seen a President so obviously enamoured of his wife and so easy about showing it, and to see the two of them together, looking so happy as a couple and not at all phoney, in fact, looking like they forgot they weren't the only two people in the room, well, that was touching and inspiring in itself. For those of us who have that kind of relationship, it reflects it back and magnifies it, and for those who have lost it or not yet found it, I suppose it gives them hope that a love like that really does exist, and that's something that I think most people need to believe. I think that to see that kind of bond expressed so openly and easily by a man who now holds the most important and visible job in the country will perhaps help people treat each other better.



So this is why I'm still smiling.

"You're Going to Be Okay"

UPDATE:
TLC 9PM SUNDAY, "Mystery Diagnosis" - "The Girl Who Couldn't Cry" Episode about a woman who had Sjogren's symptoms for 50 years before being diagnosed!

I guess the meaning of the words "you're going to be okay" are relative to the situation. Take the episode of "House" that I saw Tuesday night, for example.

I recently began watching the show because, 1) I have so much "free" time that I've pretty much seen everything there is to see on television, and if I haven't, I'll get around to it, and 2) "House" is often on in reruns almost every single night and was having a 2 week marathon recently as well. I remember watching it when it premiered but like many other shows, it was in a time slot that I kept forgetting about. I know it's a popular show, but honestly, after watching roughly 3 season's worth of episodes, I really can't see why it has the kind of popularity that it does, and I fear that there might be people out there deluding themselves into believing that they know something, (or anything,) about medicine from watching the ridiculousness that passes for differential diagnostics on that show! If I thought that was the way REAL medical staff treated patients, I'd never set foot in a hospital or doctor's office.

But I digress...

Back to the episode to which I'm referring in this post- it was called "Lucky 13." It focused on a young woman who had the usual plethora of health issues and near-death experiences once she was admitted under "Dr. House's" care. This was probably the most insane medical plotline of all the ones I've seen, and I know whereof I speak in this particular case, because this year, I happen to be going through the same diagnosis that the "patient" on that episode ultimately got.

After having a tonic-clonic seizure, a bone-marrow biopsy, aplastic anemia, heart failure on the operating table because of a breathing problem, lung cysts, (one of which burst when they inexplicably put the still-recovering-from-kidney-surgery patient on a TREADMILL!!) not to mention the calcification of the renal tubes that sent her into that surgery in the first place and a second surgery to remove the lung cysts, and THEN she later develops aplastic anemia, all in the span of, what, less than one week? Then, they jerk her around and perform useless test after useless test then tell her that she has L.A.M. and is DYING.
Sounds like a pretty bad time this poor woman is going through, huh? Oh, but wait, "Dr. House" "saves" the day for her in the end! 13's cracked lips make him think of the one diagnosis he should have thought of back when they realized she had RTA. So what does he do to diagnose this? He takes an onion into her room, cuts it and sees that, like with me, it doesn't make HER cry, either, and VOILA! "You have Sjogren's!" He exclaims. "You're going to be OKAY!" says 13. And the day is saved!
Hurray, HOW lucky is SHE? She "just" has a lifelong autoimmune disease that has no cure and was the cause of all that shit that PUT HER IN THE HOSPITAL in the FIRST PLACE. And HOW does "Dr. House" know for SURE that it's Sjogren's? He doesn't. A person CAN have "dry eye" syndrome, which has NOTHING to do with an autoimmune disorder. THAT'S why there are a MULTITUDE of tests that the doctors do and/or many various symptoms that a person must have together in order to be diagnosed. I find it hysterical that they did a painful bone marrow biopsy without batting an eye but couldn't be bothered to do the lip biopsy to CONFIRM the presence of the lymphocytes attacking the minor salivary glands, and that this was perhaps one of the few episodes where LUPUS might actually BE the diagnosis, because it or other autuimmune disease like Rheumatoid arthritis, etc., often coincide WITH Sjogren's, yet they didn't do a Sed rate or an ANA or an RF blood test.
There wasn't even any mention of the salivary glands except to say "dry mouth," let along any tests of saliva flow or a Schirmer's for tear measurement. And if her tear glands are bad enough that she can't cry, I can tell you from experience that she CAN'T SEE very well, either, because it really fucks with your vision. No two days are alike.

But, according to "Dr. House," all she has to do is take some methotrexate and some eye drops. Forget that all the people I know in the Sjogren's support group online are taking and using no less than half a DOZEN different medications and products to manage the disease, such as Salagen, Predisone, Exovac and Plaquenil.
I, myself, am now starting to stock up on things I can't do without, like the "special" toothpaste and mouthwash my dentist gave me because having Sjogren's also means, at best, you can expect to start getting more cavities and at worst, you can loose your teeth altogether! We take our saliva and it's functions for granted, but it has enzymes that keep the bacteria at bay as well as things like candida, (something they, of course, DID mention on the show, probably because of the titillation factor, they almost made it sound like "Spencer" GAVE candida to "13" from kissing her!)
I used to keep my contact saline solution close by all the time at home, before I even knew I had "dry eyes" or Sjogren's, and little by little, it's gotten so much worse that I've had to get more lubricating drops, the "oily" kind that last longer, otherwise I have a really hard time seeing. There were a few days last month when I even lost my ability to produce tears at all, e.g. cry, even when I watched a sad movie, etc., I couldn't do it at all, but it comes and goes. The other thing that's weird about the condition is that sometimes, mainly outside, my eyes would just STREAM water down my face uncontrollably. They try to make up for the fact that the tear glands are not working correctly and are not producing QUALITY tears, so they just turn on the waterworks in an effort to keep the eyes wet enough. Then there's the "fun" of waking up with them crusted shut every morning.
My skin is even drier than ever now, too, so I slather unrefined pure shea butter on it, especially my face and hands, a few times a day. I've always worn lipstick pretty much all of the time, but now, my lips feel tight and dry even with it on so I'm always re-applying gooey lipgloss. My bottom lip is even tighter since the lip biopsy, which doesn't help. The worst part about that was that pathology said there weren't even any minor salivary glands IN the salivary gland tissue, which, if you know how autoimmune diseases work and follow it to its logical conclusion, will tell you that when something, in this case, the salivary glands, are attacked by lymphocytes long enough, the thing that's being attacked is going to degenerate...I don't know how long I've had this, but looking back, now that I realize what the symptoms are, I know that it explains a lot of things I've had going on for years, (though the symptoms of my other issues overlap with this in a few instances.)

But for me, the first symptom, the one that bought me the diagnosis in the first place, are my chronically enlarged and/or swollen parotid and sometimes even my submandibular salivary glands. The parotid glands were what drove me to the ENT. I'd had 2 separate bouts of "the mumps" last year and the parotid glands, at the corner of the jaw, just under the ear, (and in front of it on the side of the face, too,) got firm and stayed that way for months, and still are. There are less than a handful of things that can cause that, so I guess that's why they didn't have the patient present with that as a symptom on "House," because then they wouldn't have had much of a show without those differentials.
Now, every time I get even a common cold, like I had over the holidays, I swell up and look like I have the mumps! It's hideous. *See photo!
Here I am at the end of December, with my "mumps." I look like I've gained 40 lbs. judging by my face!



Luckily, the swelling's gone down a lot, but not completely- it never does anymore, so I have a fatter face than ever!



As mentioned on "House," there can be complications from Sjogren's, but "Dr. House" didn't bother explaining why. Sjogren's DOESN'T JUST affect saliva and eyes. It affects the whole body and anything in the body that produces fluid of any kind is targeted. Joints are often affected, for one. I have a lot of joint problems. That is to say, a lot of them hurt and often. The fluid that protects the cartilege is affected.

I had to have an endoscopy 2 months ago and found that I have gastritis. Unlike with many people, mine is not from the usual causes, the main one being H.Pylori bacteria. Sjogren's can cause this, too, for one of two reasons, and it is yet to be determined which is the cause in my case. The lack of saliva and/or lack of "good" saliva leads to digestion problems of all kinds with Sjogren's, for one. Saliva plays a role in helping digest the food when it's on its way down. Without it, the food hits the stomach as is and the stomach has to do ALL the work. The result is too much acid, or in the case of someone with Sjogren's, not enough of THAT, either.
The other cause of gastritis could be the beginning of a process that will lead to pernicious anemia and vitamin B12 deficiency. In that case, the stomach cells are being attacked by the autoimmune system because of the disease and they will eventually lose their ability to absorb B12, leading to pernicious anemia. Whether its that remains to be seen. I've got a battery of blood tests ahead of me as it is.

I do have one major thing in common with the patient on "House." We both have been EXTREMELY EXHAUSTED these days. Like nothing I've ever known. Some days better than others. It's odd for me, because I was used to having a ton of energy my whole life, and now there are times when I fall asleep on the couch for no reason and times when I just CAN'T get up off of it to do ANYTHING.

As if all of this weren't enough, this isn't the end of the symptoms. There's a pretty good chance that I'm getting worse. Why do I say that? Because 2008 was a hellish year for me, phyically. I had more new things go wrong with me last year and more weird, unexplained things, like losing 1/3 of my eyelashes on both eyes one time, like when my lips swelled up and blistered really badly after I'd been out riding my bike in 95+ degrees, like the weird little painful and/or itchy bumps I get on my arm or legs, like the sudden, unexplained 10 lbs. I put on in the past 2 months, like the way my eye sockets and lips are swollen when I wake up as often as not, and like the way my stomach feels like there's something pushing outward on it from the inside, and those are just a few of the things I've been dealing with!
It also turns out that thyroid problems often accompany autoimmune disorders- a lot of people with Sjogren's have hypothyroid, and since I have EVERY SINGLE SYMPTOM of that, too, now, I have to get tested for it.

Anyway, aside from all of that stuff, and the possible complications if I develop kidney, lung or nervous system problems, (among other possibilities, AND, not to mention that people with Sjogren's have a greater risk of lymphoma,) I guess, like they said on "House," I'm "going to be okay."

Side Note about "House"- I can't understand why they used such a cool song as Massive Attack's "Teardrop" for the opening credits, it doesn't fit the show at all.

A Night Out

Every once in a while, I actually make it to something. We stopped getting advance tickets for things for the most part since, this year, we've missed 3 or 4 things that we'd paid for, but we made an exception in 2 cases, "The Dan Band" show and the Gogol Bordello New Year's Eve show at the Electric Factory, with, of all things, The MUMMERS! haha
So, this past Friday, I pulled myself together, threw on pretty much anything, as I've been more or less doing lately, and "made" myself go to see "The Dan Band."
The reason we did get those tickets is because, this being the 3rd time we've seen them, we know that his shows are just fun, silly fun at that, and I knew I wouldn't feel like I had to do anything special just to go to that, or worry too much about my appearance, which has been affected a lot these days.

We were running late, my fault, as usual, so we took the train, but walked home, of course, because we like our city.

We got there while they were still letting people in, anyway, and were still able to get right up front in the middle of the stage. It's fun to be there because Dan usually engages the audience. Last time, he'd teased me about my long gloves, and asked me to either take one off, OR, my bra, which I later did and threw up on the stage, to his surprise. He made one of the back-up singer WEAR IT over his clothes for the rest of the show!

THIS time, it was almost like he either had a rule that he doesn't talk to whoever is front and center or he remembered me. He did ask Bob's name and made some comments to/about him, then dedicated a song to him, which got several guys in the crowd to separately call out, "Yo, Bob-bay!" lol, Philly accent!
You can clearly hear about 4 of them in the video I've posted.

At the very end of the video, you see me talking to Dan after the show, while he's signing autographs, and I asked if he remembered the woman that threw her bra up at him onstage last time he was in Philly. I don't know how often this happens to him, I mean, maybe NEVER in Philly before, but, come on, The Pussycat Dolls did a tribute to him of HIS version of Flashdance/Fame, it's a safe assumption that women have taken their bras off around him before I did!

So, I asked if he remembered, and he got this look on his face and said he did, then said, "Is your name..Beth?" LOL, how the HELL did he remember my name!? I figured he might remember that someone threw a bra, but not that he'd remember me, let alone my name! That was freaky. Glad Bob got video of that.
So of course, we did the photo thing, even though this is the 3rd one for me with him, and it does really seem an odd thing to do! Celebrity is weird. At least with Dan, even though he lives in CA and hangs out with "household name" types and does shows for thousands of people all the time and many of his fans are famous, HE isn't affected by it, and that's really awesome. I'd never wait around for hours just to get a glimpse of someone really famous or PAY to meet them or anything like that. (We saw Eddie Izzard and though I LOVE him, we left instead of waiting to meet him...because the wait looked too long and it was chilly!) If they get that famous, then they aren't "real" people anymore and could care less who anybody else is, let alone remember me from 2 years ago!

The photo- I did this because in the last 2 photos I've had with Dan, HE made the goofy face or gesture, so I thought it would be funny to goof on him this time.
CLICK PICS TO ENLARGE


And a few of Bob and me. My whole face is swollen, but mostly my lips/bottom lip after the biopsy I had the day before. More on that next blog.


You can really see the lump in my bottom lip in this one. It looked worse the next day. I look like "The Joker!" hahaha


Foamy "Xmas snow" for the encore!


And now, video...you can't really make out the songs, but I mostly put the bits in for the visual.

Out and About

Well, Bob and I haven't done too many exciting things since we moved to our new place, but as always, we enjoy anything we do, regardless.

These days, we've both been having issues that have not only been sending us to the doctors, but ones that have been messing with our appearance. Bob's are mainly skin related, and he's been suffering badly for a few months, and mine, well, where do I start? To anyone who knows me and hasn't seen me in a couple of months in person, I may not even look like the SAME person in some of the video we have of me. My chronically swollen parotid glands have altered the shape of my face, for one. It's subtle, but my face is bottom-heavy now, where it had always been heaviest at the cheeks. My eyes are disappearing into my face from swelling of the tear-producing glands or from allergies,or both, and the rest of me is swollen with excess water from my medication, which has both edema and anti-diuretic effect as side effects. Some days, it's hard to adjust to this person that I barely recognize, let alone be able to figure out how to dress "her!" It makes me not want to leave home sometimes, but, while I'm not putting on my platforms and silver shorts to go to "The Peek-A-Boo Review," I do still get outside.

In between the times when I'm feeling bad or looking bad, or both, and/or when Bob's not feeling that great or when he's at work, we manage to at least get outside a couple times a week and wander about the city, still one of our favorite pasttimes. Doesn't even matter if we're just walking or biking to do errands,get groceries, or, in my case especially, go to the damn doctor, all reasons why we're usually out, we still have fun.

We take our camera with us every single time we leave the house because we always assume we might see something interesting. What usually ends up happening is that we take silly photos and videos of ourselves, though.
See?

Get A Clue!

Which person, who shall, (for now, forever, or until I'm feeling impulsive,) be nameless, seems to have a habit of imitating things that I, and other people, have done or are doing?
She actually has very little in her life that was her own original idea, maybe only one thing I can think of, and even with that, she does her best to try to be like others she sees who do the same type of thing.
For example, let's say she had the idea of becoming a "caterer." The way this woman does things, she would start out making bland food that a few people might buy, and then, after she met other "caterers," she would immediately become envious and jealous of their greater talents and try her best to emulate their "recipes."

And this is the aspect of her life in which she "excells."

Who continues to think that men, even famous men, who are used to seeing beautiful, feminine, slender women, think anything more about her looks other than, "Wow...I haven't seen a giant, masculine, saggy-titted transexual in a while."....?

And who can find a "compliment" for herself in even the most benign comments made to her? If a person acknowledges her presence, that alone gives her mind cause to assume it was "certainly" because they find her attractive and/or "talented."
She doesn't realize that her "talent" is a silly gimmick to people, or that in most cases, the people she performs it for, let her because she's there, and they figure "why not?" She also doesn't seem to realize that unlike her, most people do have at least a shred of tact, and that tactlessness is not the same as honesty, and in most situations, people, like myself, will avoid telling a person that they suck.

A perfect example of my tactful honesty is the following: Her-"What do you think of how I sounded singing that song?" Me-"I think you sound better singing the other song, that's a better one for you." Translation: You suck it long and hard, but as your friend, I'm going to try not to hurt your feelings while trying to keep you from making a bigger fool out of yourself.

Her need to, and belief that everyone thinks highly of everything about her stems from the fact that she was fed that kind of shit for most of her life, mostly from her parents and other adults, but sadly, she doesn't realize that her looks peaked when she was 18 years old, as did her body, and both have been going slowly downhill ever since, (though the body went faster.)
It's hard to imagine that she doesn't have a single mirror at home.
What's even more pathetic is that of all the things she tries to be competitive in, and in all the ways she's tried to "be the best," it never occured to her to try to be more intelligent, more literate, better mannered, or even more considerate of others. She likes to think she is a considerate person, and that quality exists, I think, deep down, but she only displays it in the most shallow of ways.


This woman has repeatedly done things that others do, and when I happen to be the one she's imitating, it's hardly flattering.
There was the time she was trying hard to be "a singer," (she used to tell people she envied my singing,)followed by failed attempts or lame excuses about why she "didn't take" a job in a band, coincidentally, right around the same time I joined one, and how she tried extra hard to one up me with artwork, because I used to be pretty good at that, though I never cared much for it.

Then there was her dating, then marrying, a much younger man after chiding me for dating younger men, then later, telling me that she had no intention of ever marrying hers, to even more ridiculous things like trying to grow her hair past her shoulders when I finally grew mine out long, (after having told me she felt that women of a certain age should keep their hair short,) but of course growing the hair could have been a coincidence...moreso than her cutting it shortly after I got an extreme cut, and in a way that looks like a lame attempt at a similar style, and announcing, in the same way that I did, that she'd done it. Too bad she didn't go to my stylist, but instead went to one who uses bowls on the head as a guide. Too bad that no one told her that large, masculine women with tiny heads really don't look good with "Dutch-boy" haircuts...Brooke Shields is a smart woman- ever notice how she's always had her hair long? Yeah, except Brooke looks feminine anyway.

Even my city is fair game for her. Though she lives 100+ miles away, she pretends that because she sometimes has what passes as a job here, that somehow that makes her a Philadelphian. She doesn't even know the region well enough even to know when she's actually in an area we Philadelphians consider "the suburbs" of Philly or just another town several miles outside the city. She doesn't know anything about this city, not even that Independence Hall is not called "Tower of Liberty." BAHAHAHA!
I could write a whole goddamn blog of "isms" of hers and publish it under the name, "The Stupidest Things Ever Uttered."

She's jealous of the fact that I can afford to live here and that I have a man who loves me unconditionally, and that's understandable, I suppose. It certainly explains her behavior towards me regarding my situation. I mean, only someone so jealous would disparage a person for not being able to work. What it really means is, "I wish I didn't have to bust my ass because no one ever wanted to take care of me in my whole life, and I know damn well that the loser I married would be off like a prom dress if I couldn't work, let alone stick around to support me in the lifestyle to which I've become accustomed." He can't support her now...hell, he can't support himself, and HE'S able-bodied.

She doesn't know it, but she has a tiny following- a few of my friends find her blog laugh out loud funny.
Of course, there's always been a lot she doesn't know, and sadly for her, there always will be.
If she ever happened upon this and realized it was about her, I'm sure her first thoughts wouldn't be introspective ones like, "oh..I didn't know anyone thought that...I didn't know anyone might think that about me, maybe I should think about that more," but instead, she's likely to think something like, "Beth is a bitch and she's just jealous of me!" That's been her reason for why anyone didn't like her or something about her. That was usually the reason I gave her when she bugged me about why someone didn't like her as well, because that's what she wanted to hear. I bet her husband does the same shit, because telling her what she doesn't want to hear isn't an option I'd want to take if I lived with her, no one wants to be nagged to death.

What she does is more than someone trying to better themselves. What I'm talking about is someone who's desperately searching for ways to get noticed, to become more popular, someone who's childishly competitve to the point that she can't understand her own shortcomings, so she continues making a fool of herself.


I do find her somewhat "fascinating" in a lab-rat kind of way. It's like watching a train, or in her case, a car, that you know is going to wreck someday, maybe you've even tried to stop it, but can't, but you watch anyway.


Side note: From the look of it, I can't help but wonder if she's got yet ANOTHER bun in the oven, and if so, it looks like this one might make it to see the light of day, unlike most of its siblings. Maybe she and her "conservative" husband have decided that they'll keep this one?

YAY!!

CONGRATULATIONS, PRESIDENT OBAMA!!!!!!

Nice to know our donation didn't go to waste. :)

McCain for President?

Not if MY family has anything to do with it!

Not that I think he stands a snowball's chance, except in Kentucky and similar states...

I voted for Obama today, and I know that my aunt did, she's been a Democrat, AND she lives in the Lebanon, PA, area.
My sister and my brother-in-law in the Scranton area voted "Obama."

Most amazing of all is not the fact that they will choose Obama; I mean, they're educated and intelligent, after all, but the fact that they live and are from an area of PA that is known as "Pennsyltucky." The very fact that they are not voting Republican when their neighbors likely will shows that they are free-thinkers, not bound to the constraints of the area in which they live, or its way of thinking.

The most amazing thing of all, though, is that my mother is also voting for Obama. She, too, grew up in and lives in a part of PA that is not known for open-minded, free-thinkers, let alone educated people, but against those odds, she has the wherewithal within herself to see past the bullshit that is the Republican party.

My mom is helping Obama win the White House in spite of the fact that she probably has never voted for a Democrat before, and certainly has voted Republican in the past. She is 65 years old, (or will be, in 2 weeks,) and yet, unlike many people 20 years or more younger, particularly in the area of PA known as "Pennsyltucky," she was not stuck in her ways. She is the rare person who doesn't care what everyone else is doing around her, and gives thought to what she does, and neither her age, her generation, her educational background nor the area in which she lives are indicators of what her actions might be because she is not part of the stereotype...

And because of that, neither are her children.
Thanks, Mom, for being a role model when it comes to thinking for yourself and saying "screw you" to stereotypes and convention.

Lately....

Haven't had time to blog about the things that have been going on in my life lately, so for now, here's a couple of videos showing a few things that Bob and I have been up to.

The first is basically a montage of random things we do during a "typical" week, taken in September and October.




This video is from Saturday night. My sister and her husband had a party to celebrate their wedding. They aren't really in the video, it's mostly of me and my nephew, Brady!

Times Are Bad....

Bob's taken a second job delivering Chinese food.



You didn't believe that, did you? LOL

McCain Campaign Going Down in Flames

Today, Sarah Palin was, not surprisingly to me, found guilty of abuse of power. What a shock! That "sweet" little hockey mom? I knew something untoward was up with that woman, and I'd bet that this is probably only the tip of the iceberg.
She wants the VP position to have more power, too, imagine that? Apparently she's more power hungry than she looks.
Luckily, since McCain chose her, his campaign has steadily been going down in flames, and today was just about the last sad chapter.
First, McCain finally has a moment of clarity and admits publicly that Obama is not the evil Muslim that he's been brainwashing those dumbasses into believing, and then the verdict on "troopergate" comes out with Palin looking at best unethical.

McCain's become so desperate, he hardly knows what he's saying anymore. The other day, he addressed a crowd as "my fellow prisoners." No, I'm not kidding.

He and Palin have managed to incite the idiots that attend their rallies to the point to where they look like the pitchfork-carrying villagers in a "Frankenstein" movie. It's disgusting. One of those yahoos might just take the whole thing too far one day!

I think McCain should be asked to step aside, stop running, bow out of the race. I don't know if this sort of thing has ever happened before, but there's always a first time, and I think people should start calling for it. He's shamed not only himself but the entire party.
Just because many of his supporters probably can't tie their own shoelaces isn't a reason to take advantage of them and feed them false information that could lead to them committing drastic actions.

It'll be interesting to see what happens from here until election day.
Will McCain get rid of Palin?
Will McCain remember he's running for President tomorrow?
Will Palin's "special needs" baby be revealed as her grandchild and NOT her own?
Who will McCain replace Palin with?
Will anyone care?

These and other questions will be answered by November 4th.

The only thing that's certain now is that the next President of the United States will be....c'mon, say it with me....

President Barack Obama.

Congratulations, Jen and Jerry!

My sister, Jen, got married on September 22nd, in Ocho Rios, Jamaica, to Jerry Moylan. They've been togther about 3 years and have a son, my nephew Brady.
They make a great couple, and Jerry's a really good guy.
I'm really happy for both of them.

What a "Shock!"

Clay Aiken is gay.

File this post under things I knew the second I saw them.

New Blog Site- Just About Bicycles

BIKESTYLE-When Riding a Bike is a Lifestyle, Not a Hobby


I've found that I have more than a few things to post about riding my bike and bicycles since I've started doing it, so I moved all related posted to the new site above.

It's "Nice"...Too Bad It Won't Last Long

The world is producing about 87 million barrels of oil a day, and using about 85 million barrels of oil a day. That doesn't leave much room for error, does it? Or the demand that's going to continue to go up due not only to countries like China, but also to the U.S.'s huge, current baby boom, the biggest since 1957, bigger, in fact. Everyone's so concerned that we shake "our dependence on foreign oil," but do any of them realize it's just plain OIL, foreign or otherwise, that we need to learn to do without?

That idea is unfathomable since everything we use has petroleum's oily stain on it, from medications to everything in our homes, but someday, we'll have to get used to it. I don't see it happening in my lifetime, not to that extent, but it will likely occur in my nephew's. I hope we take those steps soon so his generation isn't asking the question I, and many others are now, which is, "why didn't they do something years ago, when they knew this would happen?"

Right now, I think people are starting feel a bit more at ease about the oil situation since the price of oil has gone down a good $30 a barrel over the past 2 months, but wait a minute- it's STILL OVER $100 a barrel. Sure, gas has come down a bit, but it's still a dollar more a gallon than it was a year ago. Guess what? Things are not changing. There will be minor fluctuations, maybe even like the downturn oil took in 2006, but overall, the trend is that it's still going UP.

The current situation had nothing at all to do with George Bush wanting to drill offshore, not really. In fact, watching oil prices the very day he made that announcement, they went OVER $140 a barrel. It wasn't until a day or so later that they started to decline, and why was that, and why is it still so much lower?

Consider that in the past six months while oil prices soared, U.S. demand has declined considerably. Consider that we are the number 1 consumers of crude oil.
And then, there's what's happening with the number 2 consumer...

...A little thing going on across the globe had something to do with it. China, whose growth has been phenomenally fast and demand for oil voracious, decided that with the Olympic games coming to their country, they needed to..."clean up" a bit so they cut the number of cars on the road and other restrictions which has lowered demand a bit. In addition, their demand had already been declining- something about their government as well as several other countries, cutting subsidies and more of the cost of oil, in turn, being passed on to consumers. It is, of course, much more complicated than that, but I can't help but think that if one were speculating in oil, and I'm not saying one is, but if one were, one might be looking forward to the end of the Olympics...

As for everyone else, I'd say don't start looking at that new SUV, find yourself a nice hybrid instead, you'll thank me.

Happy 8th Anniversary to Us!

It's hard to believe, but Bob and I got married 8 years ago today. We've been together 9 & 1/2 years. It seems longer, in a way, in a good way. In the way that means we have a lot of things to look back on, so many that it makes the amount of time we've been together seem like it must have been longer to have so many memories, all of them good ones.

It's been said to me that Bob and "live in [our] own little world." I have to pretty much agree with that. We've spent nearly all of our free time together all of these years. We've worked together, a "team" of sorts, running a computer network. We've learned many things from each other and discovered new interests and developed new hobbies and oddly enough, our tastes in about 99% of those kinds of things have been right in line with each other. Where many other couples grow apart, we've grown TOGETHER. Where other couples stagnate, lose interest in each other and take each other for granted, we reaffirm all of the above on a daily basis.

"Our" world is not a traditional one. We don't have "celebrations," rather, every day is one to us. We spend most of our time with each other, and even when we're with other people, we're with them as a couple, because we genuinely enjoy each other's company. I can't speak for Bob, but I'm just happier in general when he's around. Rules don't apply in our world. We have "stress-free" weekends in which we do whatever we feel like doing, whenever we want, without putting a time-stamp on it.
In fact, except for Bob going to work, all days are this way.
We do some things that may not seem like much to other people, like riding our bikes around our city, but we have as much fun doing that, or something just as simple as other people might have by going on vacation and leaving home behind. We live our lives together like we're always on vacation.
Since we live in a city full of tourists, with tons of things to do, that's even easier to do. In "our" world, it's silly to put special blocks of time aside and say, "NOW we'll have fun, here, in this place." We don't put restrictions on fun, either by time or activity.

Aren't most people searching for that one person who can be "everything" to them? I wasn't, but I found someone who is. Even if that sounds trite, I think it's safe to say that most people are searching for someone who can be most things in their lives.
Given that, wouldn't anyone who actually found a person like that want to spend as much time as possible with that person? Life is short, after all.
We don't exclude other people; we just don't need other people the way some do.
Bob doesn't have any desire to "go out with the boys" like some men do- he doesn't have a lot of the things that draw men like that together in common with them...like drinking beer, or watching sports. On the other hand, I have no desire for a warm, fuzzy "girls' night out," either. Most women are too....female for me. I don't like kids, I don't have a ticking biological clock, I hate the Lifetime channel. I don't care about expensive designer clothing or jewelry or what style of clothing Oprah says is "age-appropriate" for me. I don't care what other women are doing or with whom, either. I'd much rather be playing video games with their sons, probably, or going to a strip club with "the guys."


Whatever we seem to others is only part of what we are as a couple. We've never had the need, (a desperate need, if you ask me,) to "prove" to the world how much we love each other with vulgar PDAs, (public displays of affection,) or gifts that corporations produce designed to tell our significant other JUST HOW MUCH WE LOVE THEM. We don't even wear/have wedding rings. Even the "marriage" itself wasn't based so much on being in love, (which was beside the point,) as it was on the more practical issues of making sure we would be able to always be THERE for each other, legally.

"Our" world is one based on love, mutual respect, and admiration for each other's finer qualities and unconditionally taking each other as we are, "warts and all," as the phrase goes. Over the past 8 years, life has dealt plenty of ups and downs to us, from financial to health concerns, and even at the lowest points, none of those external problems could shake our foundation because it wasn't built on any of those things, it was built on who we are as people. No one knows me better than Bob does, and I've never been completely myself with anyone in my life until I met him, and I know he feels the same way.

I'm the critical one in the relationship, but as a result, it's helped him find out more about himself and to deal with others, particularly difficult people, (after learning to deal with me, everyone else is easy!) in more productive ways and use the vast talents and intelligence he possesses more efficiently. On the other hand, his easy-going style has helped me to learn to let a lot of things go that once bothered me, things about myself, silly hang-ups about my appearance, for example, (i.e. getting over wearing a ton of makeup!) and I've gotten much better at putting things that don't work behind me instead of continuing to let myself become irritated. Because of Bob, I learned that I wasn't really an "artistic" person, after all, but that I was actually more technically and scientifically oriented, with a somewhat artistic side. (To anyone who knows me, it's likely you might not even know this about me, unless you worked at my last job.) Bob brought out what's turned out to be an extremely logical/analytical side of myself of which I was only barely aware.

Together, we perfectly balance each other out, and I think that's a big reason why we work so well as a couple. Whatever the reason, after all this time, we've yet to have a major disagreement over any serious issue because we see things the same way, even if not exactly, and can come to logical compromises. I think that's going to help us get through another 8 years and beyond.
And no matter what happens, I know he's always got my back just as I'll always have his.

Upgrading, but Downsizing

Well, contrary to what I said a few months ago, we decided against not only buying the place in which we've been living for over the past year, (2 years at this building,) but also against staying here. What can I say, I get bored! :)

Actually, things changed around here, and unfortunately some other things didn't that were supposed to. Since we sold the car, we also don't feel like we need to be paying rent for a place that includes parking as one of the amenities; a better place for less rent can be found without parking. Of the things that changed, the other amenities, which were the main attraction for this place, have become less attractive. Why pay rent that includes a pool and a river deck when you don't want to use them because obnoxious people and their KIDS are always there? I'm over it, anyway, and the river deck depresses me because it makes me think about a sad incident that happened to someone we know who lives on it.
So, we'd been thinking about moving for a couple of months, and looking for a few weeks.

We'd found this new place and decided to look at it. We'd seen the building going up over the past year since it's in our neighborhood. It has no pool, no gym, no atrium, (thank goodness for THAT- people seem to "forget" that they are INSIDE a building here,) instead, it has a balcony, (sure, we can still see the river, but we no longer care, at least we can be on it on the 3rd floor without people walking by us,) SOUNDPROOFED walls and windows, UV protected and insulated windows, (did you know you can still get sun damage through glass, I did, now I don't have to think about that,) full southern exposure, floor to ceiling windows, all new appliances, granite countertops, HARDWOOD floors, (no more dust!) radiant heat IN THE FLOOR, (again, no blowing dust!) and best of all, not only is the rent much less, but heat's included! We had to think about this a bit, though, because....It's REALLY tiny! I've been wanting to downsize for a while, I hate clutter, so we're just going to "start" fresh with this place and take only what we really need, sell the other junk, and get new stuff that works with this place.
We're really working on planning exactly where everything's going to go. Thankfully, there's IKEA!
And, no more having to cross the Market St. bridge, since we'll be on the other side now!